Revealing The Monster

Shield yourself
From the bitter rushing wind
The howling whispers of disbelief
As we realize just who we are
As we recognize our true colors
Only to shade them with this shield

Brace yourself
Like the man you aren’t
And face the gasping air
Realize what you aren’t
Recognize you’re truly colorless


  1. Don't hold back. Tell him how you feel. Loved the attitude of the poem. My only comment would be the capital letters to start each line, it slows the flow somewhat for me. But passed that which is just preference I guess, I loved this totally. Just glad ur not writing about me, hopefully not anyway:)

  2. Oooooh yes...that's telling it how it is... There is quite a terse attitude that's great but to really give your poem bite, my thoughts would be to eliminate some redundant words...
    For example "rushing" in the second line of the first stanza, "the" in the third line...both "as we", also "and" & "truly" from the second. I think this will give you something to start with to make it tighter. Just my thoughts anyhow! :)

  3. I like the strength, the uncompromising message.
    The repetition of 'aren't' jarred a little - could one of the be 'you're not'? For me that would strengthen the negative.
    That said, a strong poem and good to read.