4.7.11

Blues

You will find him on the corner
wishing the sun turned to shelter
and he moon to water
There's a gap in his heart

He doesn't know the smell of love
the wildest winter
how to catch a June bug
There'a gap in his heart

Curls on his head bounce through each step
eyes of indifference
no power to start
There's a gap in his heart

4 comments:

  1. a mournful refrain..doesnt know how to catch a june bug, or love...sad for sure...nice and emotive...

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  2. There's enough sadness here for any blues, but the trick is to turn it in each stanza so that something makes you smile. You do that but you change the place in your stanzas in the first two in the middle line "he moon to water" and "how to catch a June bug" I think in the third you start there and it might have more "joy" if you placed it in the second line..and start with "eyes of indifference". Just a suggestion.

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  3. There is a gap in his heart ~ (he doesn't know how to love) - damning
    Great emotive poetry

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  4. "There'a gap in his heart" so simple and yet so -- not. There is more than one type of blues and this here is a Nina Simone, Billie Holiday, Bonnie Raitt soul ripper blues here.

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